Confessions of a Younger Lover

We all need partners who help us find our way, give more than they take, and love us for who we are. Men should ask themselves the following questions: What kind of person am I? Who do I want to become? What are my dreams? Who can help me achieve them? The answers may lead them into the arms of an older woman.

An older woman frees a younger man to pursue his dreams. Eventually we all measure life by how much we have left, and older women help men look forward instead of back. A man who clings to youth makes time his enemy and time always wins.

Of course, the sultry allure of older women is nothing new. In Sentimental Education, a novel about a young man’s passion for an older woman, French author Gustave Flaubert describes the August of a woman’s life as “a period which combines reflection and tenderness, when the maturity which is beginning kindles a warmer flame in the eyes, when strength of heart mingles with experience of life, and when, in the fullness of its development, the whole being overflows with a wealth of harmony and beauty.”

The passion of older women is primal. In contrast to men, women in their 40’s and 50’s are at their sexual peak. They have an aura that comes from experience, maturity, and self-confidence. My advice to men is this: open your hearts and minds to older women. The life you save may be your own.

By Chris K. Olander, author of The Ageless Love trilogy, is Executive Director Emeritus of two private foundations in New York City. He lives with his wife Beverly in Cornwall on Hudson, NY, and can be contacted at