Physical intimacy is important in every relationship. It is a non-verbal way of showing our affection, trust, and love. In our male-dominated society, women feel as if it is their responsibility to give their partner pleasure and that failure to do so means that they don’t love their partner as much as they should. It is for this reason that a decrease in libido can cause such deep rifts between partners and married couples. Libido is defined as the urge to copulate. Sometimes a woman may just be too tired, in pain, or simply not in the mood. There are also certain medical conditions that can cause this. Below are some of the most common reasons why women have a decreased urge to make love.
Anorgasmia is a medical term which means failure to achieve orgasm during coitus. While orgasm isn’t really the be all and end all of sex, it plays an important part. Without orgasm, a woman might feel as if her partner is letting her down by simply pleasuring himself and not her. Sometimes, this may legitimately be caused by the man’s lack of sensitivity to what pleases his partner. In cases where anorgasmia is constant, it qualifies as a genuine medical disorder called female orgasmic dysfunction.
Dyspareunia or pain during sexual intercourse may also be the reason why some women dislike having intercourse. This does not include the first time for women when the hymen is torn. Reasons for this include vaginal dryness, infection (including sexually transmitted diseases like chlamydia, herpes, and trichomoniasis), disproportionately sized sexual organs (his equipment is too big, or her passage is too small), and vaginismus. Vaginismus is another medical condition wherein the muscles in the outer third of the vagina contract involuntarily during penetration. This is painful for both partners and he may sometimes ‘get stuck’. Thankfully, there are treatments available for this condition.
Hormonal imbalance is usually the main suspect when it comes to decreased libido. Women are more likely to be interested in making love during their fertile periods (usually fourteen days before the start of the next cycle) and since progesterone is the hormone that is mainly responsible for this, a decreased level of this hormone corresponds to a lowered libido. There are certain times during a woman’s monthly cycle when the level of progesterone falls. It’s right before or after their period. During this time, women usually lose interest in having sex.